| Bárbara 的个人资料...and so it is!照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
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1月21日 It's good to be in love (I must be dreaming)I wish I could find the perfect phrase or compose the perfect tune to express how happy I am and what a sweet pain it is to love him and miss him so much. This pain arises from between my legs and my ribs and goes up to my eyes, which miss his sight every second. My fingertips, my nose, my tongue and my hips miss and cry out for their owner. My soul adores him and has no room for anyone else.
I must be dreaming or
We're onto something
Hey, just watcha make me for
I don't fall in love lawlessly
I must be dreaming or
Pinch me to waking
So undeniably yours!
As long as I'm losing it so completely...
Euphoria
I can't take any more of yah!
Euphoria
I can't take any more of yah!
I'm losing it...
1月12日 New emotions, good intentions (and a brand-new skirt)I've been trying to write about Ross for almost a week. But I can't. My dual nature is playing tricks on me again. I'm experiencing the wildest creative period I've had in months (love works wonders), but I also seem to be blocked, because very few things get out of my head and adopt the shape of a drawing, a phrase, a story, something that can be seen or touched. Joy and sadness share a room in my heart.
There's a bunch of emotions and feelings inside me, a cocktail of assorted elements. Some sort of bittersweet happiness mixed with unhealthy anxiety and paranoia. Before I met up with Ross I was ready for anything: rejection or mere indifference. But I wasn't ready to fall in love the way I did, and worst of all, I wasn't ready to say goodbye and be apart from my love for who knows how long.
Everything has taken me by surprise. And I've realised that I'm a complete ass at handling love. On the one hand, I still suffer from the "sequels" of my last relationship; I'm as insecure as one can be. Even though I want this love to last, deep inside I find it impossible (now you can see what I meant when I said I suffer from paranoia). Yeah, even in spite of the several signs that show the opposite. Ross was sooooo lovely that it's hard to think that things this good ever happened. I'm so used to the fact of men changing their minds about their feelings towards me that it's hard for me to think this time it'll be different. I'm already fearing to lose him. And I don't want to lose him. I fell for him in just six days. I want to stay by his side for six decades. I love him.
I got this skirt in London. It's really long and hippie-like, it's made of cotton and it's got a silky lining. It's sort of bulky, but I feel really comfortable and happy with it. Got it at Roxy in Carnaby Street, it is so "me"... and it was half-price, so I couldn't say no. I wore it yesterday and I thought Ross and I could have lots of fun with that skirt. I really wanted him to be around so we could play (Ross and I are like children when it comes to playing). The skirt is so wide and loose-fitting that I could sit on him and cover him. And then he could do whatever he wanted down there. I wanted to hide him under my skirt, I wanted to hold him near, to kiss him and to cuddle with him. It'd be a lovely tent for Ross. I love him and miss him so much... in a way I never thought I could love and miss anyone.
And true, it may seem like a stretch,
but it's thoughts like this that catch my troubled head
when you're away, when I'm missing you to death...
(Such Great Heights, The Postal Service)
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